One girl I turned away was Samantha. She was in a car accident a few years ago and was confined to a wheel chair. She was definitely a looker but could not handle a second floor room. My conscious was eating away at me. All night I kept thinking how her condition limited her ability for housing. In the morning I decided to let her room in my bedroom and I would sleep in the attic room. When I called her and told her of my plans she wept over the phone. I knew then that I made the right decision. Moving in day was finally here. All the girls arrived early and it went fairly well. Classes were due to start in two days. Everyone went out that night except Samantha. I knocked on her door and she said to come in. What I saw was amazing. There she sat on her bed in just a red teddy. Instantly the blood started moving within me. Quickly I sat down in the chair to hide my erection. She looked at me with those blue eyes and asked if I could help her hook up her computer since she could not. For someone who wasn’t born with wide hips, a small nearly hairless frame, and a soft feminine face. For those who can’t quite make their body reflect what they always saw inside, who have to work at it harder than me, for less in return. I know that I’m lucky, but still, even for the luckiest transgendered girl, things are just so tremendously hard at times.But they’re getting better. Or at least they were before we all got locked into our apartments. And the worst irony, I’d spent so much time fixing myself only to feel finished only months before this bullshit started. And yes I know that’s the wrong thinking word for what transitioning meant to me, but still, it’s what it felt like. The days were roller coasters, the hormones slingshotting me back-and-forth between extremes. And it’s not like the depression, the anger, the hate were just imaginary. They poured out from other people, from old friends and uncaring strangers who looked at the person between male and female like a.
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